I go swimming early in the morning several times a week in our local Coral Leisure Centre. It was recommended to me by my surgeon following back surgery. Getting up at 6.15am on a dirty, wet, cold winter’s morning is no fun but the benefits of the swim make it worthwhile. The back stretches out and sets me up for the day. It’s not all plain sailing though.
I find it difficult to get changed in the cubicles because I’m not as flexible as I was previously and putting on a pair of pants while trying to keep the legs of the trousers off the wet floor is a tricky manoeuvre. Socks present another complication but for every problem there is a solution.
I wear shorts and flip flops, or sliders as they’re sometimes called, going to the pool and it makes getting dressed a lot easier. On my way home I often call into a shop, and I sometimes get some strange looks. I also get a bit of slagging, especially if it’s a cold day but it’s always good natured.
I wear shorts for most of the year and as soon as the weather improves, I’ll be into them until the winter comes calling again. I spend a good bit of time away too and one of the things I love most about life in Cyprus is being able to live in t-shirts, shorts and sliders. Dressing up for a formal occasion out there just means wearing a decent pair of shorts.
I have never been interested in fashion or brand labels, so the uncomplicated dress code suits me fine, but it seems my dress sense is being challenged. There are some who say that men of a certain age should keep their legs covered except in the privacy of their own home. If that were true it would have dire consequences for me, so it called for some urgent research.
Liz Hodgkinson, a British journalist and blogger, wrote a piece called ‘Old men shouldn’t wear shorts.’ She complained that at the slightest hint of sun, you see something that, quite honestly, should never be glimpsed in polite society or even impolite society – old men in ancient shorts.
She said the oldies openly parade their spindly, white, veiny legs on the streets, on trains, in pubs and restaurants, and even in the theatre without any shame. One 70-something friend, justifying his urge to put on shorts, said, ’We get over-excited when the sun comes out.’
Hodgkinson said, “Well, you might get excited but we, the poor onlookers, don’t. Quite honestly, we don’t know where to put our eyes, even if we’re the same age. You never see old women in shorts – we have far too much self-respect.”
Her final piece of advice was, “So, seniors, do us a favour – no shorts, please, ever – except perhaps on the beach. Admit it, you just haven’t got the legs, or even the face, for them anymore. And if you really, really can’t resist the urge, at least buy some new, knee-length shorts and put in some time at the tanning salon first.”
Well, I qualify for free travel next month so she might be talking about me, so I sought professional advice. I turned to Mr. Porter, an online only luxury clothing business. They say the answer to whether grown men should wear shorts depends on who you ask.
In years gone by, men’s shorts were frowned upon in all but the most casual of settings. In his 1964 treatise on style, ABC Of Men’s Fashion, Sir Hardy Amies wrote that a man should “never wear shorts except actually on the beach or on a walking tour.” Others said shorts should only be worn on the tennis court.
Times have changed and shorts are now more socially acceptable, but they advise that care should still be taken when selecting the right pair to suit your body shape. Shorts might look out of place at some venues too so it’s important to be aware of your surroundings unlike the poor guy in the States.
Bill was presented with a basket filled with assorted gifts by his sister-in-law on his birthday on behalf of his godchild. A book, a CD, a bag of blue tortilla chips, a large jar of salsa, a baseball cap and pair of black shorts. The shorts were a strange choice as he wasn’t known as a shorts man. A few weeks later though he was glad of them when he got an invitation to a Hawaiian themed pool party.
He rooted out the black shorts and a t-shirt and headed to the party. He was greeted by a friend who pointed to the Ralph Lauren logo on the shorts, something he never noticed himself. She saw that the logo was fuzzy, so she whispered to him that the shorts were inside out and back to front. He rushed to the bathroom, sorted himself out and returned to the party.
He soon got into the swing of things and pranced about for the rest of the evening in his new shorts. He attracted lots of attention and was delighted with his new image. He had a great time and couldn’t wait to tell his sister-in-law that his shorts were a big hit.
She hadn’t a clue what he was talking about until he reminded her about the basket of goodies. Then it dawned on her. She started laughing and when he told her about having them on backwards, she was in hysterics. There were tears in her eyes from laughing at which point he said he didn’t realise it was that funny.
When she was able to catch her breath again, she told him the truth. The shorts were actually a pair of underpants.