I always feel sorry for school kids at this time of year as they go through their exams. It’s a tough ordeal for them. There are a few exceptions but for most of us, sitting at a desk in an exam situation is a lonely, stressful place to be.
Many who know me would probably tell you that I’m not the most excitable character you’ll ever meet, and I generally take things as they come. I rarely get into a flap but there are two things that have always freaked me out; exams and interviews.
It makes no difference how well prepared I am or how familiar the subject is, as soon as I’m put to the test, I quake. My palms get sweaty, my mouth dries up and my brain goes to mush. I’ll give you an example of how silly this gets, even now.
I did a week-long induction course back when I was starting a tour of duty with the United Nations. Part of that course involved an English test. This was because there were many different nationalities involved in the mission but English was the working language so it was important to make sure everyone could understand it.
The test included listening to some audio and then writing down what was discussed and answering some simple questions. I don’t recall the exact format, but you get the gist. It was basic enough.
I’m a native speaker and I have a decent understanding of the language and I also studied journalism, so I was well equipped. There was nothing complicated about this test but, as soon as it started, all the old familiar feelings came rushing back. It made no sense whatsoever that I should feel like that at the prospect of this silly little test, but I did.
We probably all have something that sets us off and for some, it’s a fear of speaking in public. Not an ordinary fear either, but the kind that brings on panic attacks and increases the chances of an imminent bowel movement. I know some who would rather eat a body part than face the prospect of having to address a group of people, even when they know them.
Those of a certain age will remember the flautist, James Galway. When he was in his heyday, he could play a tune on the flute without pausing for air and fellow musicians studied him to try to figure out when he was taking a breath. We all know someone who won’t stop talking long enough to take a gulp of air but put a microphone in their hand and it’s like a mute button. It’s more effective that a bullet.
Apparently, it’s a very common complaint and I discovered that there’s even a word for it, Glossophobia. It’s a fear of public speaking and it’s estimated that up to 75% of people suffer from it. A strange aspect of this affliction is that some sufferers can sing or dance on a stage in front of a large audience without any difficulty but would self-combust if they were asked to talk.
I can cope with large numbers, but my difficulty is with smaller crowds. I’m talking specifically about the interview situation. I’ve always hated interviews and I have no problem admitting that I am no good at them. I just go to pieces.
When I’m asked a question by the interview panel, my brain immediately goes into neutral. They’d get a more intelligent response from the jug of water in front of them. I can do a great interview in my head before I go into the room and I can give all the right answers when I come out, but while I’m in there, I’m clueless.
I went for an interview one time and one of the guys conducting the interview was a colleague of mine and we knew each other well. Once the introductions were made and the interview began, I couldn’t remember his name.
Even when I know the right answer, I doubt myself and start looking for alternative answers that might sound more impressive. Then I get confused and before I know it, I’m talking in tongues and spouting gobbledygook. That’s the way it’s always been and there’s a good reason for it.
We’re not good at telling strangers how competent we are, and we don’t like to boast about our wonderful achievements. We don’t want to sound full of ourselves or cocky either and I reckon it goes back to the way we were raised.
We were brought up to know our place and not to be getting ideas above our station or to be thinking we were better than anyone else. An attitude like that could earn you a clip around the ear. We were trained to be humble and not to be bragging to others so we’re uncomfortable with self-praise because it goes against the grain.
But not everyone is afraid to express themselves at an interview.
A junior doctor was suspended from practising medicine in Ireland by the High Court because he posed a danger to patients. The doctor was recruited despite never being registered to practice medicine in his own country, but he still managed to score well in an interview here, despite having never laid a hand on a patient before he got the job.
It wasn’t long before his colleagues realised that the man was completely incompetent. He couldn’t take a simple blood sample and he had never even been trained to examine a pregnant woman. He went into the interview full of confidence, waving his qualifications around and secured the position after persuading them that he was the perfect man for the job.
Wouldn’t have happened if he was raised by an Irish mammy.